I feel so horrid that I haven't updated this in a while. I have been very preoccupied with my new life. I moved into my own place, began dating someone new and am learning the hard reality of being on my own. I am strapped for cash like hell. But there's a man who plays guitar and sings to me at night. I am in bliss but scared out of my mind. I feel like I'm totally winging it right now.

It took me until age 26 to become fully independent. I am happy. I have taken steps in my life to confront the demons of the past that were eating away at me like a cancer. I said things that should've been said 14 years ago. I have stood up for myself and have complete total control over my life. I finally earned respect and self respect.

I love it. I love it more and more every day. I'm not angry or enraged like I used to be. For once in my life I feel very calm. There is no need to get worked up about things because it will all pan out as it is intended. I don't care what others think. I am doing what my heart (and sometimes my brain) tells me to do. I am trying to avoid behavioral patterns. But at the same time I am viewing life as so short and precious. I want to live every moment with no regrets.

I am sure I've hurt people. I'm sure I've stepped on the dreams of others to get here.

It isn't my problem. I spent years suffering in silence. Keeping my mouth shut over things that never should have happened.

I finally got closure. I am at peace.

Nothing on this earth will ever control me like that again.

And besides being smitten in love with the new boyfriend... I haven't had a chance to look up at anything except the happiness that surrounds me.

What a curve ball! Maybe by Christmas I'll finally get those pictures from San Francisco developed.

Right now it's "eat, and have a roof over my head." Priorities!